twenty six

this year i will be 26.

twenty years ago i was a precocious 6 year old in grade 1 at bob jones elementary school.

we lived in greenville, south carolina -- the apartment complex down the road from bi-lo and the michellin factory. my brother and i shared a room and at nights we would talk and share stories.

ten years later i was sweet 16.

we were living in mount dora, florida. i was in grade 11, on the cusp of changing schools for my senior year. it took everything to convince my parents i was going to be just fine. my focus was to succeed in school. have fun, graduate, get into a good university far away from small town florida and travel.

ten years later, here i find myself.

graduated university, traveled, worked abroad, moved several times and currently finishing up a 2 year service in the peace corps. i survived.

when i was young i dreamed about being a missionary to china, it's all i knew about an outlet to travel, so i decided i would do it. i used to read stories of missionaries, their work, lives, experiences, ... it filled my head with wonder and from early i knew i was destined to be a nomad. i was obsessed with asia -- the food, the culture, the people, the customs, ... that was one of the only reasons i ever agreed to go to church, to hear about the visiting missionaries talking about their experiences. religion wasn't a stronghold for me though -- i found missionaries too hypocritical and overbearing. i didn't want to be associated with any of that. i then decided i would become a professional figure skater like my childhood idol, kristi yamaguchi... from the fame i could travel the world. i wasn't destined for that though. i then tried gymnastics, thinking i could be the next nadia, but that also fizzled and faded. we moved a lot, apartment to apartment, state to state, island to country, and vice-versa, ... the idea and image of 'home' changed -- it became what was important, special and a comfort to me. no matter where we found ourselves, what new school i was enrolled in, or ..., i always had home. my confidantes were my journals and my pets. thinking back now, all of my dogs passed on and yet i learned to cope and move on. i've learned to be very strong and resilient -- ready to face any challenge head on; independent to the core. i'm not afraid of challenges, solitude, change, ... i've done it and mastered the ropes and it's become a custom; part of the norm. high school ended and i booked my ticket to france. my savings covered the costs i took care of everything -- my brother suggested i would enjoy volunteering at a workcamp designed to preserve old french cultural sites. i signed up for a month. i jumped in, head first, learned french as fast as possible, made friends and slept in a football stadium. i started smoking that summer. it was a beautiful eye-opening experience. i loved that place and i vowed to return and open a commune.

i backpacked a lot of france or another 2 months, visiting friends i had made from the camp. i decided i wasn't ready to return. i hadn't been accepted to the universities i had pined for and i wasn't interested if it wasn't meant to be. i figured i could apply to school in paris and try to find my way. my parents had other thoughts. they said they supported me, but said financially i'd be on my own . i kept my poker face until a week before classes were to start, i sucked my pride and called my parents to say i thought it over and i wanted to avoid such debt so early -- so i flew back an went to school.

i took every opportunity to travel back and get out. i tried to live meagerly so i could fund these ventures. as school came to an end i wanted out this time it was back to holland. i didn't know a soul. i had volunteered for a month outside amsterdam a year or so before, so i was a bit familiar with the city. i found a room, managed to meet people and had a decent go of things, despite the job. my call finally came in from the peace corps and i was off to jamaica. the past 2 years have given me time to put everything into perspective and help to further pinpoint what i want... it's only been solidified: travel, meaningful work, something creative, something different, full of opportunities to meet change. longtime goal and dream of working with for unhabitat is getting closer and closer. who knows?

i'm on the right path to realizing my goals and it's been 26 years in the making. it's crazy how time has passed by so quickly. when did i really become 26? i feel like i'm still 21, every year. but this is it; this is life, going on with or without your permission. so best advice i can give myself is to jump in, fully. live every moment, don't waste the time away. be present and embrace the good with the bad. don't stress too much, remember the 'helicopter view'... big picture perspective helps keep it in check. laugh often. avoid hypocrites and more so becoming one. if you feel sad, cry, then move on. you will survive. don't over-analyze too much, it's a waste of time, an added stress and usually holds you back from realizing what you desire deep down. enjoy the ups and downs -- a balance is needed to appreciate the true beauty and joy of living. i often wonder how my parents feel, seeing their children as adults? re-evaluating their lives, where they have come from, where they have gone, what they have experienced...

here's to the journey. can't wait to see what's waiting ahead.