Saturday, 23 February 2008

my life in a nutshell

trying to assimilate has been a process, i'm still an illegal immigrant (now i know how that feels & i can scratch that one off the list of things to do before i die). no its just been crazy from day 1... work is super intensive, yes i'm learning a couple things, but at the same time it's just like school, minus the fun/creative part -- this part is bullshit, about making money and creating profit... not too keen to it, but i'm doing my part.

i think it might have already gotten to the point where i'm being taken advantage of and we've crossed into sweatshop territory.. so i'm going to address this if it continues next week.. certain things like giving me 2 projects to figure out on my own (no team), working from 9/930 to 9/midnight/2/330am, .... it's been nuts. and it doesn't help that my boss is a bit of a bipolar betty. hes uber nice one second & under the slightest pressure or stress he's like frankenstein on drugs. i feel people shouldn't stray from their meds, even for one day -- the effects are drastic. im also wondering if maybe this has all been some sort of test (which i hope because its been too intense to be real, i think). we had a presentation yesterday on one of my projects, and he basically made me design it with little feedback on his part & thank god the clients loved it & he was super impressed, so that made me feel good, but not good enough to stay till 3am.

the dutch language is growing on me, still foreign, but i'm hearing it 24/7, so i'm picking up little catch phrases & words here & there -- its very "huachhhing" sounding. they speak dutch all day at the office, which is nice because i'm hearing it constantly & they think its the best thing for me, but at the same time i have no fucking clue what they are saying & its turned into background music that my brain has been trying to turn off -- like bad techno music. i feel sometimes like a mute/deaf, but its been getting better. i get along with everybody super great so that's a good thing, considering there are only 4 of us, it would suck to not get along. i'm by far the youngest, by 5 -14 years or something.

trying to meet other people & make new friends.... when i can. parties are key to these things --as i've come to find out -- its all who you know, then who they know -- full circle. i've met some interesting people so far & it's been helpful in trying to get used to a new place.

my calves are just about steel now & no gym needed. although i have a few near death experiences, its gotten better -- im not as nervous about the tram lines, random people jumping in the bike paths, and traffic.

other than that & trying to become legal, which is impossible, and that is a definate thing which other people who have gone through have told me, you just can't do it & have to remain "underground"... which at the beginning freaked me out, because of being an american & coming from a place that is so anal about immigration/tourists/... i feared i would become the next elian gonzalez & get ripped out of my bed in the middle of the night & deported faster than anyone could say stroopwaffel. but ive come to find that yes immigration is a major issue here, more so with turkish, indian, & muslim nationals... so though i watch my back, im not as freaked out. plus my friends have all said i can hide in their closets if they do come after me, so that helps me sleep at night. also at work they come up with 3 alternative choices: 1) apply for dutch citizenship (mind you this was after they spent an hour bashing their country; then they said no its great bc holland has a great thing where you can have dual citizenships -- you can keep your national citizenship), 2) marry a dutch guy, and lastly, 3) my boss would sign me up as an au pair for his 3 made up kids so that i would have to stay at least a year (this by far was the worst, & im still scared he will sign me up without my knowledge). none of those seemed too feasible in my eyes.

its been good overall, taking the good with the bad, nothing is always good, it would be far too boring. its only 3 weeks in, im staying positive.

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