i don't know if i'm really ready to leave, but it hasn't hit me yet... i went to the office to bid my farewells and parting mementos. i will admit, despite the bitching, i will miss it a bit.
i took a long bike ride today, something like 4 hours... i got turned around, and was heading to haarlem over the highway, as soon as i left the city, but i did manage to remember the path to osdorp. the whole time i was anticipating the reunion with this memory and place.. a year later the entire town has gone through radical change -- built up like crazy. new housing projects, new fence for the park, and as i was approaching the final bridge before dijkgraafplein, i could see something was missing.
de gravin is gone! they bulldozed it. all that remains is the strip of shops behind it and the newspaper place next door (with the strange, space-like footballer statues). my heart broke a bit, and i then proceeded around the corner to see if the second hand shop was still going.. nope. gone too. at this point i was really bummed, and took a turn to the hospital, i parked the bike and walked around the perimeter for a bit. i didn't see anybody outside, so i opted to leave. the whole ride back to the city was full of flashes from that summer.. and all i could do was wonder what happened to all those people we met.. i got nostalgic i admit, and even more so, upset because de gravin was a hangout for them, away from the hospital -- and the second hand store was a major accomplishment... allowing them a chance to interact with people. that empty feeling is still with me, and feels like its growing as i get closer to leaving tonight.
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