how will you meet your end

i'm at a loss for words much less emotional response.

this month alone 2 friends of mine have passed... the month before my grandfather.

i have coped fine with my grandfather's death, my parents took it much harder, granted as they knew him longer and had a deeper relationship with him. i just have memories of my grandfather in the basement doing paperwork and the occasional smart witted line... that's about it. we talked, but it was mainly one way conversation or constantly reminding him of who i was... i am still grateful of him attending my college graduation, and that i will always remember, along with the architect cut lines... he was an aeronautical engineer and didn't favor architects. so to cope with me becoming an architect he would make cracks. in the end after my grandmother's death i think it was surprising he managed to keep chugging along. after witnessing my great-grandmother, great-aunts, and my grandparents transitions or slight alterations in old age i have learned i will do things differently. i would not wish anyone to be cooped up in a home without familiar faces. there is no point in living at that moment. you become a distant memory and forgotten about, only to be called on major holidays if you should be so lucky.

the part i have a bit of trouble swallowing is kids so young passing. a friend of mine from high school recently passed from his battle with cancer... he was only 23. my heart breaks to know all he had to suffer, but he became such a source of inspiration to others... he passed his encouragement and stories to others. he was remarkable at such a young age. he will be missed, but to know he is no longer suffering is comfort in itself. i know he has made an impact and moved many people, myself included. i found out just today another friend also recently passed at only 25... for her it was more of a coming to terms with personal and deep rooted questions. they will be remembered for their amazing abilities to inspire those around them, creating surges of thought and reflection, they were both dynamic individuals. in the end, we all have our time and we have to make the most of it, through interactions and sparks. i remember them today and let their memories be directed to inspiration.