yes, the doctor is in town.
though shortlived, it is providing that necessary older sibling reassurance i have been craving since i stepped back on national soil. the whole family thing never really worked for me... and the only thing to get me through those rough times was my brother. so at this time (with this latest bout of the blues i've been trying to rid myself, while trying to be everyone for my parents: an architect, daughter, mother, sibling, therapist, miracle worker, cordial, ...) it comes as a very welcome visit. plus, since neither of us are usually home at the same time, it will be great to have some real "family" time before i leave. i do miss the kid and i wish i could take him to jamaica with me. though i cannot complain, i was lucky enough to be with him for the past 6 months.
i tend to distance myself with people once i know i'm leaving, it makes leaving bearable and then i don't have to go through the emotions of goodbye. unfortunately, i have no 'real' control over this and it's usually those closest to me, friends and family, that i back away from. who is to say this is problematic, we all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and who is to judge... it's a coping mechanism i learned early on and, well, it stuck.
regardless, i'm grateful for these next couple of weeks. hopefully, i can make more of an effort to be more involved.
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