passing time in line

being unemployed has opened my eyes to the many injustices and negative generalizations that are inflicted upon those who do not have a "job." i have had to deal with medical issues, not having insurance or coverage of any kind. i have been laughed out of doctor's offices at the slightest concern about prices and rates for non-insured patients and i have been charged hefty amounts without even a twinge in their eye. as well, with the economy in the midst of puberty, not having a job is tough work just to stay alive. luckily i have my parents support, but even still, i am without the means to accomplish anything outside myself.

i found myself this morning, among the entire community, inside the factory that is the king of big boxes, which we shall call the big w. i am about to expose myself as a hypocrite, so pay close attention, i hope it will be the last. yes, i was at the big w. i'm broke. i have to eat. big w had the things i needed for a very reasonable price, much unlike floridians' favorite, which we shall call the grand p. now i have to admit i have been seen at this big w often since i have been home. in a small town where there is not much choice within a certain circumferance you learn to make compromises. and, well, i made compromises.

other times that i had frequented this big w it was like any other of its kind, full of lost faces roaming the aisles, a minute few buying things no one will ever need, and the rest just trying to make it through the week. but today was surreal. this morning's visit left me stuped. i was standing in line with my bag of apples and chicken looking around a bit, as most people do to pass the time while stuck in unimaginablly long lines. all of a sudden i was overcome. every single lane was open, including all of the mini lanes (for 20 items and under). as well, every lane was completely filled to the brim with lines just as long as mine, some a bit longer. now, i have never seen a sight such as this... long lines yes, of course, but every lane open and completely full, no. what gives, it's a weekday at 10 am? everybody was out and about, from 1 to 99. all the geriatrics were there with their walkers and wheelers. middle agers with hair dye and bananas. young stay at home moms with small tikes, baskets brimming with generic jiffy, generic wonder bread, ... you get the point. teenagers skipping class. majority unemployed, just like me. everyone is seeking bargains, and who can blame them. unfortunately health has had to take a backseat to the fight of economy vs. survival. and well, with many people unemployed, medical care is becoming less attainable. it's too early to say if this will be one of those "it will make you stronger" events or "survival of the 'fittest'" events. i guess time will tell. maybe i'm just not that with it and this is a normal occurence where we all take it for granted and move on with our lives. and perhaps we should... but it's still a bit unsettling to see such a dizzying stir in one uneventful, weekday morning in small town, usa.