patience my youth

as you walk through your life, remember there is something larger always at work and reasons abound for all that takes place for every second of every day we are blessed with life... we may not see it now and may not even realize why till years later, but it is to be and it is for a very important reason. keep your head high and your heart clean, for only through pure and positive living and thinking can we succeed in life. walk with the most high and seek the truth in all that you encounter.

my letter to the universe

i hear you. i am patiently struggling to hear what you have to say, or see what you have to show me. i've received your signs and with each i close my eyes, take a deep breath, and tell myself there is something larger at work here. it's been a most trying time i will tell you. you have been testing me most strategically. at moments of exhaustion it begins to ware on my mind and bother me a bit, but after that second wind i am back up ready to take what you have to give me. i don't want to challenge you, but rather work with you. are all of these things meant to lead me to somewhere? why are there so many doors opening yet they slowly become closed to me? i know it must be for some reason and i don't want to push the veil if i am not meant to touch it. i don't want to force something if it is not meant to be, but as well i don't want to be left behind. i have faith... it's getting dusted off during these moments of trial and tribulation, but my head is held up high and my heart full of love and sincerity. i know who i am, where i have come from and where i wish to go. like a wise man once told me, life is full of problems, it's how we carry on with the solutions that make the difference. i am trying to heed that advice, keeping a positive vibe in all i do, keeping a pure heart, and just being me with every day that passes along. i know all of these things are meant to remind me of what matters most to me and what i care about. i'm trying to do my part and i will keep my wits about me, looking for further clues, but please know i mean no disrespect, i just want to know where this is taking me?

retail, day whatever

so the job is waring a bit... i personally loathe shopping since i was a child, so to work in a retail store is a bit of an oxymoron. the commute itself is draining not to mention standing all day and dealing with disgruntled people. i spend more on gas for that commute than i actually have managed to earn --which i'm still waiting for it to balance out, ... and that speeding ticket really didn't help further that along, i am so far in the hole at the moment i'm trying to grab on to rocks to climb out. but work is work, it's what you make of it. it's been a good experience, learning something different, and being in an environment i would never find myself in... i've met some interesting people from all walks of life, i've laughed most sincerely, fluffed off the nonsense and made it through every day and night. so all in all, it is waring but it's giving my mind a vacation from it's constant analytical mode and from worrying about my life's current position. in the end, we take what we can get and we run with it. the laughter gets me through and when i wake up i thank god i made it to another day.