Back in Brooklyn... never saw this coming. I guess that's why they say, never say never. It's just as I remember it: cold, noisy, congested, gray and no sight of nature for miles. This place is a dream for those who want to live the city life, all bustling and busy, with work and hustling on their minds. For me, it makes me homesick and I long for those rural bushes, glorious sunshine, beautiful beaches and tropicalia at it's best. It's always made worse by the fact I end up alone, in a place I feel no connection. After about a week I was ready to return to Jamaica.. much less after the rush of hormones, stress of uncertainty, and the big void in my heart, which all came to a head and slowly started breaking me down. Too many promises every other day from the Embassy regarding my husband's paperwork, left us both letdown and tragically longing to just see one another, wondering if it would ever happen.
Luckily, just this past week, good news came when we least expected it and when we genuinely needed it... Hoping sooner than later he'll be stateside and we can work through all of this nonsense and uncertainty together. I finally have a doctor appointment this next week... hoping to get all the necessary tests run, along with proper check-ups and learning the knowledge of the baby's gender. Will it be Maya or will it be Noah? And will my husband have to shift from referring to the baby constantly as Noah. There are bets running, he claims he won't have to shift. Asha claims she's getting a sister named Maya, just for her to play with her hair. And Jessie is happy with Noah or Maya, promising to teach them everything he knows. This next week holds much insight.. just practicing some patience in the meantime.
And I'm toying with the idea of finding my way back to Florida, just to be closer to the things that make me happy... NY may be a bit too much of a push, especially with a baby coming. Time will tell and the universe will unfold it's desires...
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